Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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