i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
