my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
