Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
