his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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