would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Pooping to opera.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
