My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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