There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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