We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
