Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
