Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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