Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is wine microwaveable?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
