you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
FUCK WHALES
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
