she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
