walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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