aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sext me about skeletons
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
