the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
