was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
