best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
