Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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