I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
