the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
this hospital has no fireball
Randomize
