the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
