I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
