hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
