I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
4 words: hood of his car
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My vagina just recognized that song.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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