I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
