so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
