is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
