Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
