this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
