kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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