Where is the hickey?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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