I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
