You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My boob is missing a layer of skin
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
