Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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