can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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