Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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