Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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