and next time when you feel me up, do it right
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
