hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
