What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
