i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
