Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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