I cockslap morals
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
