I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I know her cup size but not her name....
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