YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
