Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
