My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
