this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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